How to Talk With a Teen Who Doesn’t Want Counseling

Understand what may be behind the hesitation

A systematic review of studies involving adolescents and young adults identified embarrassment, stigma, difficulty recognizing mental health concerns, and a preference for handling problems independently as barriers to seeking help. The review describes patterns across young people; it cannot tell you why your own teen is reluctant.

Ask what concerns them about meeting with a counselor. They may be unsure what happens in a session or whether they will have a say. Listen to their answer before offering a solution.

Sources: [1]

Choose a calm opening

Try a time when you are not in the middle of an argument. Describe a specific concern without assigning a diagnosis or turning counseling into a consequence. An example might be: “I’ve noticed mornings have been really hard. I want to understand what would make things easier.”

SAMHSA recommends listening without judgment and using open questions when discussing help. A useful response is to reflect back what you heard and check whether you understood. You do not have to agree with every conclusion to take a concern seriously.

Sources: [2]

Offer questions and choices

Invite your teen to help make a list of questions for a counselor. Avoid promising that everything will be secret or that the therapist will never involve a caregiver; privacy and its limits need to be explained by the clinician.

• What would the first meeting involve?
• When would a parent or caregiver participate?
• What information is shared, and when?
• Could we ask questions before deciding on next steps?

Sources: [3]

Keep the next step manageable

At Mathews Family Counseling, a parent or caregiver can call 440-201-4841 to discuss the young person’s age, general needs, and appointment options. Confirm the age range and who should attend intake. In-person appointments are available in Kinsman and Cortland; online suitability is considered individually.

These conversation suggestions are not a substitute for urgent assessment. If your teen may be in immediate danger, seek emergency help rather than waiting for agreement about a routine appointment. Call 911 for immediate danger or call or text 988 for crisis support.